Operation Diaper Drop: The Ins and Outs of Potty Training

Recently, you had a baby. At least, it felt like recently. The midnight feedings, the sweet baby scent, the watching and waiting for first words and first steps—it all seems fresh in your mind. In the blink of an eye, though, your baby has transformed into a toddler that can do all sorts of things: She can (usually) tell you what she needs, can (somewhat) successfully dress herself, and can (constantly) imitate everyone around her.

In addition to all of this, she’s begun expressing curiosity in the potty. She’s started to become aware of the urge to go, and is usually able to keep her diaper dry for a longer amount of time (when she does wet or soil her diaper, she usually let’s you know). Congratulations! The era of potty training is now upon you.

If you and your child both feel ready to make the leap—well, don’t think of it that way. Instead, think of potty training as a process, and one that starts in the abstract. Before the diapers come off, begin by talking with your child about the potty. Have her watch you or a same-sex sibling in the bathroom, read books, and pick out a special potty, underwear, or training pants together. In short, get excited about the potty together so she feels good about taking this next step.

When the actual potty training begins, the most important thing is to keep it positive. Set your child up for success by making it easy for her—create a loose potty time schedule, like inviting her to try the toilet fifteen minutes after mealtime, for instance. Throughout the day, watch for physical signs that show she needs to go, and ask if she needs to use the potty at those times. If you can potty train during the warm weather, this is ideal, as your child will be able to walk around bare-bottomed or with minimal clothing, making it easier to use the toilet on very short notice.

It’s important that your little one receive plenty of guidance and encouragement during this time. Consider setting up a reward system for when she successfully makes it to the potty—stickers work well, as does a simple verbal praise. Be careful not to go overboard with the cheers, though, as this might make your child feel overanxious to perform. And for the times when accidents do occur, be sure to avoid scolding or displays of disappointment. There are a number of reasons why potty trainers have accidents, including simple distraction or forgetfulness, stress, a fear of loud flushing noises, or even defiance. If your child experiences frequent accidents, consider some of these causes and try to determine if any underlying problems exist. Always be reassuring, and encourage her to try again next time.

Finally, remember to teach good potty habits. Your child will not be ready to wipe just yet, but you can teach her good habits (wiping front to back) and keep some wipes around for an easier and cleaner process. Teach your child to flush the toilet, but don’t be surprised if she resists doing it herself, or doesn’t want to be around when you do it. Some children are simply uncomfortable with the thought of flushing. Teach her a quick song to sing while she washes her hands with plenty of soap and warm water, so she knows exactly how much time is needed to suds up.

There are probably as many variations in approaches to potty training as there are toddlers, because every family is different. No matter if you choose a traditional, transitional approach or something less conventional like elimination communication, the most important thing is to make sure you and any other of your child’s caregivers are attuned to her unique personality and needs. For more resources on potty training, visit Parent Concepts, or Dr. Greene.

Just for You

Adult Readiness

In potty training discourse, there’s often an emphasis on your toddler’s level of readiness. If your child is not yet exhibiting a desire to use the potty, it’s usually better to give her some more time as opposed to forcing the process. However, no matter what your approach to potty training, adult readiness is just as important! So, for a stress free diaper-ditching experience, consider the following:

• Align with your spouse, then get on the same page with other caregivers. This will minimize any potential frustration for you and confusion for your child. (For more on this, read our For Your Family section.)
• Try to remain detached from the outcome. While you might be ready for potty training, your child might not. Being overly invested in her success might cause you to express disappointment, frustration, or anger to your child should she fail.
• Consider timing. Warm weather makes potty training easier since your child can wear little or no clothing, and can even go potty outside if necessary. Less-than-optimal times include stressful periods at work or during family transitions, such as a new baby, new caregiver, or new school.
• Be a Mama Bear. More than anyone else, you know what your child needs. While others will always jump at the chance to share their opinion, remember to be assertive about your choices!

For Your Family

Getting on Board with Potty Training

When it comes to potty training, receiving support from family and caregivers is crucial. This translates to clearly defining your needs and expectations in accordance to your training plan, whatever that may be.

First and foremost, be explicit in your expectations for the other grown-ups who routinely spend time with your little one. This includes let caregivers know of your child’s routine, any observable signs she may exhibit, as well as the progress your child makes. For instance, if you normally encourage your little one to try the potty fifteen minutes after mealtime, make sure your caregiver does this as well. Equally important, ensure that your caregiver understands how you deal with instances when your child fails to make it to the potty.